a story for moms….

You know, as a mom you have these moments you’re really proud of - like moments where your kids are pushing all your buttons and you’re able to stand back and calmly reply with words ferreted out of one of the million parenting books lining dusty bookshelves - you know, the ones you read B4K (that’s- Before Kids). Later, after resolving the issue in a manner Dr. Parent Advice So and So would be proud of, as you lay your angelic babies down to sleep and quietly kiss them good night, you walk away with a lift in your stride and a small smile in place secretly thinking what a great mom I am. That’s called a Brady Mama Moment and in that moment every sweetly spun hollywood family tale seems - possible. Maybe there is such a thing as happily ever afters, you think…

I love those moments. I think there should be little gold Oscarish statues for moms when they have these moments so that when you have the opposite of these moments, you can gaze wistfully at your shelf of achievements and reminisce about the good ol days…or moments…or times…

There were no gold Oscarish figurines in my world today. No gracefully laid out lines or emotion stealing moments that would have audiences swooning and me preparing my Academy Award acceptance speech (I do love this fantasy. In it, Angelina Jolie and I chuckle over the nuances of motherhood in our red satin dresses and high heels and perfectly applied makeup while Brad Pitt and - ohhhh - hum - Leonardo stand by exchanging jokes and doing whatever it is guys do). Noooooo. The emotion stealing moments most definitely hands down go to my 5 year old  daughter who I do believe has every single one of my buttons color coded in alphabetical order in a secret compartment in her room. Actually, she’s so smart - she’s probably figured out a way to write code on her arm with her iridescent markers for quick reference. And I think she may have made copies for my twins because I’m sensing there is some serious collaboration going on behind closed doors (that’s button #55 - leave the doors open! Mom must hear everything. There can be no spies in this camp).

Today, she pulled the big Kahuna and pushed button #1 which is: tantrums in public places. Familiar with this one? Well, I’ll be honest - this one makes me quake in my boots.  My answer usually goes like this - run-to-the-car-as-fast-as-you-can-and-quickly-shut-the-doors-before-the-drama-fully-kicks-in. Followed by - apply-dark-glasses-and-steal-quickly-out-of-the-parking-lot-before-anyone-sees-LAURA LYNNE PHOTOGRAPHY-sprawled-on-the-back-of-my-very-identifying-car.  Uh yeah, that piece doesn’t always work out so well. And you know how TNT says they know drama? No, nooo. I beg to differ. Their drama is child’s play (no pun intended). My daughter knows drama. I fully intend for her to support me someday with her acting skills. In fact, I’ve already spoken with JC (James Cameron - yeah, we’re close like that) and he’s down. He saw the demo tape from her 3rd birthday (I have no idea, I’m just making this up - I know that’s hard to believe). He’s keeping his eyes open for projects that would be a good fit. I expect a call any day now.

So, that was pretty much me and my academy award actress (and my poor twins who are at as much of a loss as I am in these situations) today at 5:30 as we exited the gym. Which is why I usually avoid this time for the gym - I think this time of the day is also referred to as Meltdown Milley. Well, if it wasn’t before, it is now. I’m not sure who Milley is but I’m pretty sure she’s supporting her mom with her acting skills too.

So, what did I learn today? When kids are in tow, stick to the am and afternoon workouts. And finish the day with a glass of wine. It’s true what they say - it’s good for your health.

my academy award actress in a happier role (pre-gym at Wacky Tacky - which, by the way, is the greatest play house in Roseville and we’re giving away free entrance gift certificates at our Spring Fling Event on the 27th which is just one more reason to stop by!)

man, I love this little girl. do you think she’ll ever really know how much?